Southern Charm & Sarcastic Humor

• It’s night right now.
• There’s something else you should be doing at the moment. 
• You ate chicken today.
• You are lactose intolerant. 
• There’s a nearby TV on.
• You get along with your neighbors.
• you’re hungry right now
• You have worked out today.
• Running a mile sounds awful. 
• You have a job. 
• You love to bake Christmas cookies. 
• Your parents are still together.
• You woke up before 11 this morning.
• Baths are better than showers.  
• You are 5’5” or shorter. 
• You hate British accents. 
• Victoria’s Secret is a good store. 
• Cats are better than dogs. 
• The 90’s sucked.    
• Your favorite color is either blue or purple.
• Your hair is short. 
• You are by yourself right now.
• The last thing you drank was water. 
• You’re in your PJ’s right now.
• Your hair color is natural.
  
• Fred from Youtube is annoying.
• You don’t drink soda.
• There’s at least $20 in your wallet.
• It’s cold out.
• Orange juice is better than apple juice.
• You love someone right now. 
• Video games are awesome.
• Your sheets are white. 
• You have read works by Shakespeare before. 
• You’ve been professionally diagnosed with a psychological disorder.    
• You know someone in the hospital right now. 
• You know someone who has beaten cancer.
• Sneakers are your favorite shoes to wear. 
• Chocolate is better than vanilla.
• You’re allergic to peanuts.  
• You’ve never been to New York City.
• You’ve never been on a varsity sports team. 
• You want to go to Europe. 
• You’re using a laptop right now. 
• You want plastic surgery.
• Vanilla is the best scent a girl can wear. 
• You’ve made yourself throw up. 
• Your friends do drugs.
• School is too early.  
• Your nails have nail polish on them right now. 
• You’re Italian.   
• You have a tan right now. 
• You’ve been on a diet before. 
• You’ve shopped in plus sized clothing stores.    
• Hot Topic is scary.
• There are socks on your feet right now. 
• You’ve used a hair straightener.
• Shopping online is easier than shopping in an actual store.
• You’re in Verizon’s network. 
• Cheesecake is delicious.
• Your BMI falls into the overweight category.
• You have gotten your hair cut in the past month. 
• Your birthday is within the next 2 months.
• Comedies are better than action films.
• Math is the best subject.    
• You are fluent in more than one language. 
• You love Greek food. 
• You consider yourself a picky eater. 
• You have more than 3 pillows on your bed. 
• You live with at least one parent.
• You’re happy right now. 
• You are a high school graduate.
• You have a pet cat.
• You were born before April 5th, 1991. 
• You have brown hair.
• You have blue eyes.
• You are in a relationship.
• You can count to 20 in another language. 
• You have studied a foreign language.
• You voted in the 2008 presidential election.
• You own a vehicle that is older than a 2004. 
• You have worked 3rd shift.
• You have worked in a fast food restaurant.
• You drove somewhere that was further than a half hour away today.
  
• You are older than 19.
• You are younger than 16. 
• You are an only child.
• Your parents are divorced.
• You have more than one sibling. 
• You are a vegetarian.
• You have a gym membership.
• You are in the military.
• You have a relative in the military.
• You have been to Canada.
• You have been to Mexico. 
• You have been to Europe.
• You are currently enrolled in college/university.
• You have done something you told yourself you wouldn’t.
• You have braces.  
• You wear contact lenses.
  
• You have a tattoo.
• You have curly hair.
• You have received flowers from someone in the last 2 months.    
• You are engaged.    
• You are married.
• You have children.   
• You are an aunt or uncle.
• Your bedroom walls are blue.
• Your bedspread is red.
• Your bedroom carpet is beige.
• You have been out to eat at a sit-down restaurant in the last week.
• You have been drunk in the past 24 hours.  
• You watch Scrubs.
• You watch Jon & Kate Plus 8.
• You watch American Idol.
• You have been to the movies within the last month.
• You have cursed in front of your grandparents.
• You had a lunch box with a cartoon character on it when you were little.
• You actually pay attention to politics.
• You were told you looked cute today.
• You were hugged today.
• Your best friend is the opposite sex.
• You have paid more than $100 on one item of clothing.
• You are a good speller.
• You are always on time. 
• You have done something illegal within the last 24 hours.
  
• You have ridden an elevator within the last 3 days. 
• You have spent the night at someone else’s house within the last 2 weeks.
• You have been out of the country within the last year.
• You love Chinese food.
• You love Italian food.  
• You love Mexican food. 
• You love country music. 
• You love rap.
• You love hip hop. 
• You love punk rock.
• You love hard rock. 
• You love metal. 
• You love oldies.
• You love techno.
• You love instrumental music.
• You know someone younger than 10 who passed away.
• You have taken pictures of yourself just because you were bored.
• You have been in a car accident.    
• You have had stitches.
• You have a parent who is a teacher.   
• You have a savings account. 
• You currently have a $1 bill in your possession. 
• You have dated someone who was 2 years younger than you.
• You have dated someone who was 2 years older than you.
• You have broken up with someone for someone else. 
• You are Catholic.
• You are Mormon.
• You are Buddhist.  
• You are Agnostic.
• You are Protestant.
• You are Muslim.
• You wish at 11:11.
• You have/had your current job for more than 3 months. 
• You have had your heart broken.
• You broke someone else’s heart. 
• You felt bad about it. 
• You have an Aunt Karen.  
• You have an Uncle Bill. 
• You have a cousin Sarah.
• You have a cousin Adam.    
• You have ridden in a car with a Stephen.
• You have hugged a Tiffany.  
• You have kissed a Blake.
• You have had class with a David.
• You have done something just for the fact that you were old enough to.
• You have been to a cemetery at midnight.   
• You have been a vampire for Halloween.    
• You have been a witch for Halloween.
• You have been a pumpkin for Halloween.  
• You have stayed up for 48 hours straight. 
• You have been to Walmart in the past 3 days.
• You own a pair of scrubs.    
• You own a cowboy hat.   
• You own a leather coat. 
• You are missing someone right now.
• You have been let down recently.
• You have had someone you thought you could trust betray you.
• You would rather have a one-night stand than a relationship.
• You would rather win $500 from the lottery, than guest on a game show.
• You have met someone famous.

(Source: moofinsmoofin, via runningtothefinish)